What is Domestic Violence?
Domestic violence is a term that includes different types of abuse that can occur in intimate relationships. An intimate relationship describes two people who are married, living together, or dating-regardless of their sexual orientation and whether or not they have children together. Abuse can occur during the relationship, while the couple is breaking up or even after the relationship has ended.
Sometimes abuse happens unexpectedly in a relationship. For others, the controlling behaviour develops gradually over time. Often a victim will experience more than one form of abuse at the same time. Sometimes abuse becomes apparent for the first time when a woman becomes pregnant or after the arrival of a new baby. It can happen any time. A victim of abuse is never responsible for causing a partner to behave abusively.
More examples of what abuse might include are listed below to help you decide if you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship.
What is physical abuse?
Physical abuse is the use of physical force against another person in a way that ends up injuring the person, or puts the person at risk of being injured such as:
- pushing, throwing, kicking, slapping, grabbing, hitting, punching
- beating, tripping, battering, bruising, choking, shaking
- pinching, biting
- holding, restraining, confining
- breaking bones
- assaulting with a weapon such as a knife or gun
- burning
What is emotional abuse?
Emotional abuse is the use of verbal or non-verbal remarks or gestures that undermine the person's sense of self-worth, self-esteem and confidence which includes the creation of fear through threats and intimidation.
Verbal or nonverbal abuse may include:
- threatening or intimidating to get their way
- destruction of your personal property and possessions, or threats to do so
- violence to your home or your things or your pets, as a way of making you afraid
- yelling or screaming
- name-calling
- constant harassment
- embarrassing you or making fun of you
- criticizing you and what is important to you
- not trusting your decision-making
- telling you that you are worthless without them
- excessive possessiveness and/or jealousy isolating you from friends and family
- excessive checking-up on you to make sure you are where you said you would be
- saying hurtful things while under the influence of drugs or alcohol, and using the substance as an excuse to say the hurtful things
- blaming you for how their feelings and actions
- doing or saying hurtful things just to "teach you a lesson"
- making you feel that there is no way out of the relationship
What is sexual abuse?
Sexual abuse includes:
- sexual assault: which means forcing you to participate in unwanted, unsafe, or degrading sexual activity
- sexual harassment: which means using words to make you feel badly about your sexuality or as a way of using sex to get what you want or need- like money or a job etc.
- sexual exploitation: means things like forcing you to look at pornography, or forcing you to participate in pornographic film-making) or sexual activity with others
Sexual abuse often is linked to physical abuse; they may occur together, or the sexual abuse may occur after a bout of physical abuse.
What is economic or financial abuse?
Economic or financial abuse includes:
- withholding money or credit cards
- not letting you have access to any of your money
- checking receipts to see if you spent the money you said you spent
- stealing your money or belongings
- withholding food, clothes, necessary medications, or shelter from you
- preventing you from working or choosing an occupation
What is spiritual abuse?
Spiritual abuse includes:
- using your religious or spiritual beliefs to manipulate you
- preventing you from practicing your religious or spiritual beliefs
- ridiculing your religious or spiritual beliefs
- forcing your children to be reared in a faith to which you have not agreed
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